so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize