Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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