She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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