yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
