so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
