Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
