I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
