is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
