my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I die, sorry about rent.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
