Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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