What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
