she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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