lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
