I bet he comes in French.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
