Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
