This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
