Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
