I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
