no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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