apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize