so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
