dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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