I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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