you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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