you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
