the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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