As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
