i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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