i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
