atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
