my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
