? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
