My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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