upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
