You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We left the knife in your bed.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
