Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
