honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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