k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
zippers are such a cool invention
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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