beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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