But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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