i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
