We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
