yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
