He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
