this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
