You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize