How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
