wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize