Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
