so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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