I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
