So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
