guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
