If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
