Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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