dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
