Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
