My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
