theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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