What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
