I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
