This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
