hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
