I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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