I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
