i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
