me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
