I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize