ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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