yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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