The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
