I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
