dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
