I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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