If that was your dad, he is hot
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
