Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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