he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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