ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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