Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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