Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
