She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
