They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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