Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize