I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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